Meteor House Press announces a wonderfully strange, wild new novel and and a contest! And even offers a free excerpt below!
The Abnormalities of Stringent Strange
Get this at http://meteorhousepress.com/stringent/
In addition to buying the book, which will be a signed limited edition, customers can order a “deleted scene” which Rhys will write specifically for them. It will not appear in the book but will printed out from the “manuscript” and mailed with the book. In this (short) scene the reader will be killed by the author of their choice in the arena as they battle as gladiators. Here is an example: http://meteorhousepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/deleted1.pdfAlso, Rhys is currently writing a new novelette featuring Stringent Strange, “The Further Fangs of Suet Pudding,” http://rhysaurus.blogspot.com/2012/11/suet-pudding-returns.html. Everyone who preorders The Abnormalities of Stringent Strange, will get the ebook of “The Further Fangs of Suet Pudding” for free.Anyone who orders a deleted scene before the end of November (Two days left!), will be Tuckerized as a character in “The Further Fangs of Suet Pudding.”Go on a wild ride and learn all about THE ABNORMALITIES OF STRINGENT STRANGE! Start with the excerpt below!
Excerpt from
The Abnormalities of Stringent Strange
THE
PLANE TRUTH
Sunlight flashed on the wings
of the single-engine Northrop Gamma as it banked around the small cumulus that
was the only cloud in the sky. The monoplane performed a final barrel roll before
coming in to land and the Pratt & Whitney R-1830 14-cylinder radial engine
droned comfortably as the pilot adjusted the fuel/air mix. The overinflated
wheels bounced once on the hot tarmac and the propeller clattered to a
standstill. Then the pilot emerged and rubbed his gloved hands.
“She’s
a beauty, no doubt about it, doc. Handles like a French whore. I mean that the
frills serve a purpose…”
“I
comprehend the allusion,” sighed Crinkle.
“Another
winner, in my opinion.”
The
pilot removed his goggles and grinned. Stringent Strange was tall and muscular
with a manly chin and the clear blue eyes of a hero. He was exactly the sort of
fellow that girls should go wild over, but in fact he had to spend an unhealthy
percentage of his test pilot’s salary on prostitutes. It was his body that was
the cause of this discrepancy. It was hirsute beyond belief, the torso of a
gorilla balanced on the legs of a giant lemur; and the hairs were malodorous in
the extreme.
“My
worst fear has been confirmed,” continued Professor Crinkle, as he rubbed his
bleary eyes, “but there’s nothing we can do about it. Jack is the winner and
that’s a plain fact.”
“Knowing
when to quit is a useful talent, doc!”
“Yes,
I suppose so, dear boy.”
Stringent
began walking back to the control tower. He was in a good mood but he tried to
hide his exuberance for the sake of his mentor, who trailed behind him with
pouting lips. When a man’s dreams are shattered in front of him, it’s poor
taste to whistle and skip. Tobias Crinkle, Ph.D., had devoted almost
twenty-five years to the cutting edge of the aviation industry but dedication
isn’t enough on its own. Genius counts for more and his main rival had plenty
of that.
His
main rival had a name. Jack Northrop.
Although
Stringent felt empathy for Crinkle, his recent flight brimmed him with an
almost sexual joy and he strode ahead rapidly, not caring to be brought down by
the glum expression and nihilistic mutterings of the disappointed professor;
but at the entrance to the control tower he turned for a last glance of the
gleaming Northrop Gamma, its aerodynamic spats giving the airplane a curiously
anthropomorphic appearance, like a jazz musician performing a primal dance.
Stringent’s
psychology wasn’t quite that of a normal man and he often saw resemblances that
no one else could perceive, or would even want to, but on this occasion he
could be forgiven his conceit, for the machine did actually have the semblance
of a speakeasy reveler. Three steps at a time he climbed the spiral stairway to
the control room and grinned at the man who sat on a leather chair in front of
a transmitter. This man had been in constant radio contact during the flight.
“A
beautiful plane, Mr. Northrop,” Stringent said.
The
seated man nodded once. “I’m glad you like it. I do feel bad about Tobias, but
it’s a cutthroat business.”
“That’s
true. We appreciate the situation.”
“Well,
Jack,” cried Professor Crinkle as he emerged into the room. “It only remains
for me to throw in the towel and admit I’m beaten. Stringent here says your new
Gamma is something really special and I know better than to ever distrust his
word on anything connected with aviation. So I’m going to quit the business and
sell up.”
“That’s
a shame,” said Jack. “You’re a good designer.”
The
professor smiled wistfully. “Sure, but not a patch on you, and I’m not too
proud to acknowledge the obvious. My own rival prototype, the Crinkle Crisp,
just isn’t up to scratch. Sure, it’s faster than diarrhea in a Malay Peninsula
missionary, but it doesn’t have the maneuverability of your model. Look, I
don’t have a towel on me, just a pocket handkerchief, so I ought to throw that
in instead.”
He
bunched up the square of filthy cloth and hurled it at Jack’s head. It missed
and struck the wall behind: a wholly symbolic gesture. The mucus acted like
glue and it remained stuck on the wall. Stringent thought about wrenching it
off, then decided not to.
Jack
Northrop leaned back in his chair until the leather creaked and he made a
pyramid with his fingertips. “Listen, Tobias, my new Gamma is a superb small
cargo plane and does everything it should to make it the best of its kind in
that category, but that doesn’t mean you should abandon all your ongoing
projects. I’m extremely interested in some of your proposed innovations. The
Flying Tail, for example. An aircraft without fuselage or wings, cutting drag
to the minimum!”
Professor
Crinkle shook his head. “I suspect you’re just flattering me, Jack. Agreed, my
Flying Tail is a pretty neat idea, but the tests I’ve run on miniature models
prove that it’s very unstable. And you’ve got your own low drag project, the
Flying Wing.”
Jack
licked his lips and lowered his voice.
“Yes,
that’s a particular favorite of mine. But I’m going to come clean with the pair
of you. There’s something even more special in the works. A stratospheric
cruiser with a highly experimental propulsion system that’ll generate vast
amounts of free power if it works properly. Forgive me if I don’t say
much more at this stage.”
“You
never cease to amaze me, Jack,” said Crinkle.
The
leather creaked again as the occupant of the chair stood up. “Time is passing
rapidly and I have an engagement in Los Angeles this evening, so I should make
my farewells now.”
Stringent
nodded. “Thanks for inviting us over, Mr. Northrop, and for letting me fly your
Gamma.” He turned to the professor. “I know you are sore disappointed, doc, but
at least you’ve been saved pumping more cash into that ridiculous Crinkle
Crisp.”
“Yes,
that was a rather large favor, dear boy.”
“Think
nothing of it,” said Jack.
“Keep
us updated about your triumphs, will you?” asked Crinkle. His reddening eyes
blinked rapidly.
“Of
course I will, Tobias. Maybe I’ll see you again before 1932 is out, and if you
decide to let Stringent go, there’ll always be a job for him here. Have a safe
journey back to…?”
“Tallahassee.
That’s where we’re based.”
Jack’s
eyebrows shot up. “In Florida? But I always believed you had headquarters
somewhere in Nevada.”
“We
did. Then a freak sandstorm destroyed all our hangars. We had no choice but to
relocate and now we’re on the far side of the continent. Rent is lower and the
climate isn’t so harsh, plus I prefer the food and the local Seminole workers
are reliable.”
“And
I enjoy swamp whores,” added Stringent.
There
was an awkward pause.
“Ahem…
Yes, well, many factors contribute to the desirability of the Florida
Panhandle as a suitable location for our operations, not that there will be any
further products rolling off my production line. My intention is to cancel all
Crinkle Industry programs. I’ve had it with aviation, Jack. I can’t even face
getting in a plane to return home. I think I’ll take a train instead. Is that
fine by you, Stringy?”
Stringent
nodded dubiously. “I guess so.”
Jack
Northrop pulled on his coat and perched a hat on his head. “If I’d known you
had to come so far, I wouldn’t have invited you over just for a few hours and a
solitary test flight. Damn it, Florida’s two thousand miles distant and by
locomotive it’s a monstrous and vaporous journey. And I’m not referring to
California when I honestly point out that you don’t look in any fit state to go
back right now.”
“I am
rather tired,” admitted the professor.
Jack
puffed out his cheeks. “In that case, why not spend the night here on the
airfield? There’s a cabin on the edge of the runway with a bunk bed and a
kitchen and other facilities. I had it built so I could sometimes work late
without having to go home.”
Crinkle
and Stringent exchanged glances.
“Why
not?” they said in unison.
The Abnormalities of Stringent Strange, copyright
© 2012 by Rhys Hughes